International Women’s Day

Why do we need International Women’s Day?
It’s a special day in celebration of the woman, you’ll say.
So why don’t we have a special day to celebrate men then? Is it that men do not want to be celebrated? Is it that they are celebrated enough?

Or is it that women aren’t celebrated enough?

International Women’s Day is required because female infanticide is rampant, and because the girl child is still not treated the way a boy would be.

Because there are girls who are not allowed to study and women who are not allowed to work.

Because there are dowry and honour killing cases every day.

Because girls and women alike are molested, raped and even sold for their bodies.

Because there are working women being paid lesser than their male counterparts.

Because there still are people out there who think a woman’s outfit is responsible for crimes against her.

People who think a woman mustn’t work after she gets married.

Who believe that ours is the weaker sex.

Who assume that we don’t need equal opportunities.

 

Today, on International Women’s Day, a friend of mine told me that the office boy at her workplace kept her lunch plate on a different table from the others. When she asked why, he said, “Udhar sirf aadmi log baithte hain.” (“Only men sit at that table.”)

If something like this can happen at a large company, where almost everyone has more than a bachelor’s degree, you can only imagine what happens in places where people don’t have any awareness.

 

And then there’s the whole commercialization of International Women’s Day. As rightly mentioned in this MidDay editorial, the number of offers “for women on their special day” is almost maddening. Honestly, I’m not sure how I can help against ostracism of women by getting 20% discount for a spa treatment.

Media, including social media does nothing to help. After years of being ignored, the Indian women’s cricket team is suddenly on the front page today. Posts like “18 Strong Women in the World” are suddenly all over the internet, when just a few days ago, there was a post that asked the girl to “do the protocol Indian girl moves – praying, cooking, doing household work, before telling her parents about her boyfriend”. Really?

Films portray women in item numbers, wearing slinky clothes. There rarely are releases showing stories of powerful women like Kahaani or Neerja, but almost every year, there is a derogatory to women Grand Masti-esque movie, or a male-glorifying Dabangg-esque movie.

TV shows aren’t very far behind, with men dressing up as women on comedy shows, because apparently it’s funny. I won’t even begin to talk about Indian dramas on television, and the way women are portrayed on those.

 

Awareness, however, is being spread on various kinds of media. Whether it be this advertisement by Titan, this music video by Lady Gaga on sexual crimes in colleges, or the Share The Load campaign by Ariel, or even Saving Face, an Oscar winning documentary that showed the plight of acid attack victims, there are people actively working towards this issue.

Emma Watson talks about a society where men and women, both, come together to strive towards a society where gender bias has completely disappeared. Her HeForShe campaign aims at equal opportunities for both, men and women. And it would be amazing to see the world on the same page as her on this topic.

My friends and I recently went for a wall painting activity at Tulsi Pipe Road, Matunga, organised by ARCIL. We decided to use our wall to share a message we strongly believe in:

 

But this is just part of the process. We have a long way to go, and a change such as the one we’re expecting, does not happen over night.

We need to take it slow and steady, taking baby steps towards a life where women aren’t thrown into the shadows just because some people expect them to be there.

To a world where the whole of humanity can live as equals.

And then some day, we’ll realise that there’s no need for an International Women’s Day at all.

Why

1. Why?
2. Why us?
3. Why only women?
4. Why aren’t we important?
5. Why can’t we be equal?
6. Why take it out on us?
7. Why should our gender make a difference?
8. Why does it have to be this way?
9. Why should it mean that we’re weaker than others?
10. Why can’t we have a society that’s safe for us?

We need change. Our society needs change. Every time there’s a heinous crime against women, there are new restrictions thrust upon us. “Don’t be out late.” “Come home on time.” These always come when we’re coming home late, for those who are working, and those who are having a good time out late.

And when we finally decide to leave from wherever we are, “Who are you traveling with?” “Take so and so route only, others aren’t safe.”

There’s some more when we’re deciding how to dress. “You’re going by train, don’t wear those shorts.” “That t-shirt isn’t opaque, wear something else.” “Carry a scarf or a jacket.”

Should it matter though? How we travel, or how we dress, or who we travel with? Should it matter that women’s compartments in trains aren’t fully cut off from the general compartments? Should it be so hard to pick up the newspaper every morning, in anxiety that there’s only bad news there?

The freedom India got on 15^th August, 1947 was for her people too. And freedom means no restrictions. And restrictions are driven by crimes. So I guess if there’s no crime, we might just be able to achieve freedom. The same freedom that we, rightfully deserve.

Other countries I’ve visited, I’ve noticed, don’t have a separate women’s compartment in their trains. It doesn’t matter that women have to share compartments with their male counterparts. Also, they wear what they like to, without receiving lewd glances from random passersby, without having men whistle at you, or sing songs as you walk past them.

Women must be respected. Not treated as items of entertainment, toys you can use as and when you like. Crimes against women should be punished to the victim’s heart’s content. Our legal system exists for a reason. And mockery shouldn’t be made out of equality.

We need to be more open-minded. We need to be better fighters. But most importantly, we need to change. For the betterment of women, for the betterment of society, and for the betterment of our country.

Bliss

Lemon Butter Garlic Sauce is one of man’s greatest inventions. Its beautiful smooth texture, and its delightful golden yellow colour, just goes well with anything. I’d have a few spoonfuls just by itself, but today, I had it with fish and mashed potatoes. It was heaven in a dish.

The fish – soft on the inside, golden brown on the outside, was cooked to perfection. The dollop of the creamy mashed potatoes, infused with the buttery goodness of the sauce, proved to be more than just a side to the fish. And this, coupled with garlic bread that was crispy, yet soft, and garnished with little pieces of garlic, just brought the meal together as a whole.

It felt so good on the palate, that I forgot about the boiled vegetables sitting at the edge of the very same plate.

Journey to Rest

It’s been a long day, and you sigh. Your feet are tired with all the standing and walking you do. The travelling takes a toll on various body parts, depending on how crowded your commute is. Your work life provides you with some days that are particularly mind numbing. And today, it’s been a long day.

Sleep is all that’s on your mind. You come home, drop your bag down, change into a comfortable pair of shorts and a t shirt. Then have some dinner while you watch the television, not absorbing any bit of the TV show. Neither do you pay attention to all the people in your house trying to make conversation with you. Because, sleep is all that’s on your mind.

You can’t tell the exact moment you’ll fall asleep anyway. You hope it’ll be soon though. You clean up, brush, switch off the lights, and clamber into bed. And you lie down, flat on your back, feeling the weariness weighing you down. You feel the softness of the bed against your back, the folds of your blanket over you. You’re comfortable and you feel as though you needn’t move again. As though even if you try to move, you won’t be able to. Your eyes are closed, the lids clamped tight as though they have gotten stuck there. And all you can see is darkness. Your mind is slowly shutting down, various thoughts floating around turn into wisps before they finally disappear. You can’t tell the exact moment you…..

Musings of a Friday Afternoon

It’s quiet. All you can hear is someone’s agile fingers typing on a keyboard, an intense conversation going on in a far off bay, the soft snores of the guy dozing off in his chair next to you, a phone ringing in the distance that no one seems to want to answer. But otherwise, it’s quiet. Afternoons generally are.

You look outside the large window. The tips of the tall glass buildings disappear into the thick grey clouds enveloping the sky. A solitary train chugs on the railway track, which is lined on either side by lush green trees. You can hear the soft patter of rain drops on the window. It blurs your view of the scene outside.

Out of nowhere, the rain gets heavier. The sky gets darker. The weather gets gloomier. So does your mood. You’re looking forward to 6.30 pm. That precious moment on a Friday evening that signifies freedom. A gateway to 48 hours during which you don’t have to open your laptop. Or meet the very people who are sitting around you now. Or draft a workpaper. Or meet with clients. No, you don’t have to do any of these things. You think of all the things you can do. Catch up with family, grab a bite with friends, spend time with your special someone. There’s a new movie you’d like to watch, that suspense thriller you’ve wanted to read for a while, or maybe just sleep longer than usual. Of course! There’s a sale at your favourite store and you’d love to get your hands on that pair of blue skinny denims.

So you start making plans, to splurge, to feast, to diet, to socialize, to party. You think of how you’ll dress – an LBD lying at the back of your cupboard should do just fine, and those red heels to match. You decide to click a lot of pictures; you haven’t changed your Facebook profile photo in a while and your friend has a really fancy camera.

You imagine all this, excitement bubbling in your chest. Your sleepy neighbour wakes up with a jerk, snapping you out of your afternoon reverie. “I should get back to work,” he says, embarrassed, and starts typing frantically on his laptop. You do the same.

An 18th Birthday Letter

(A little insight into our sisterhood – I wrote this to my little sister for her 18th birthday)

Do you wanna build a snowman?

So this was a brilliantly thought out idea by your friends. But what do you put in a letter to someone who you talk to everyday anyway? Here goes…

Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. Even though I was only 4 when you were born, I do vaguely remember going to see you for the first time at the hospital. And when you started to sit up by yourself, I’d sit behind you so you wouldn’t fall. That tradition continues and today also you come and sit on my lap millions of times.

Since then, you’ve grown to become a beautiful young woman, and even though I won’t say it, my best friend. (So, if you ever go AWOL like Elsa, you can count on Olaf, Kristoff, Sven and me to come and get you!) You’re smart and awesome and I believe you can be a famous writer one day.

I love how our conversations range from extremely serious discussions, to Disney/ other movie dialogues and songs to the randomest nonsense, inclusive of the shouting matches and stoopid fights.

Oh, the serious fights as well – what’s life without a little sibling rivalry? You can only imagine the Christmas dinners.

I’m sorry for all the times I’ve been mean to you, but, you know, it’s only ‘cause you’ve been mean to me (duh). But if anyone else is mean to you, I shall personally help you beat them up (even though you’re the one who knows more karate from the both of us). Basically, I’ve got your back (unless it’s your front you’re worried about, in which case, I’ve got that too).

So now that you’re turning 18, here are 18 tips to survive the adult human world (not that I have understood it myself, but I’m fulfilling the role of the knowledgeable elder sister):

1. Don’t change yourself to become what people think is “mature”. It doesn’t matter. Not to you anyway.
2. People are mean. But you know that already.
3. People are also stupid. Rickshawalas especially. But you know that too.
4. Learn to drive. I bet you don’t know that.
5. Get your voter ID (the cool mark gives you discounts at fancy places). Get mine as well. Pls.
6. Don’t watch so much TV! Watch your new laptop. 😀
7. Socialize. Not just online. I can teach you.
8. Shop for yourself. I’ll tag along as usual anyway.
9. Update your blog more often! For the greater good. It’s always fun to read what you write.
10. Paint that canvas. Or I will.
11. Take part in Malhar and other awesome things all the time. But don’t go to shady places (read: Lalit Bar and Restaurant)
12. Read lots of books. But not on your iPod.
13. Cotton eye Joe is a must. You don’t want glasses.
14. Continue to let me try things on your hair.
15. ALWAYS LOVE HARRY POTTER. Goes without saying. But. ALWAYS.
16. You should eat more food! Not just potato and bacon and Lindor.
17. When the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world.
18. Don’t grow up so fast.

So all these aren’t related to turning 18, most aren’t even tips. But follow them anyway. I always give good advice.

I’ll always help pick earrings for you.

On that happy note, do you wanna build a snowman?

It doesn’t have to be a snowman.

Love.

Sunset Stories

Sunset from my terrace

I’m sitting on the water tank on my building’s terrace as I write this. It’s 7 pm, just about sunset and I needed a break from the confines of my room and books. And even though I’m not far from them, I am really in a different world all together.

A strong breeze flutters through the trees and caresses my skin. Its soft touch blending with a selection of my favourite soft rhythms, and together, they block out the sounds of traffic.

The last few rays of sunlight bounce off tufts of clouds in the sky in various shades of yellow and orange and grey. They move with the wind, in a file, walking like a throng of people on a pilgrimage do.

Trees sway. Distinct leaves in one moment become a blur of various shades of green in the next, as a gust of breeze shakes their branches. The gulmohur tree sighs with the wind, bright orange and green together in a beautiful mélange. Stray flower petals float from the trees towards the road below.

Every few minutes an airplane flies over me; it swims amongst the clouds, diving into one and emerging from it just as fast. It looks like a large metal bird, making zooming noises, soft at first, then loud and then soft again as it mixes into the sky far away.

Between the branches of the trees, cuckoos coo. I can only hear them, not see them, and it seems as though the notes come from no direction in particular. But it has a soothing effect, and the music ties all the elements of nature together, filling in any gaps there might be.

What was once a bright sky, now moves towards hues of darkness, as dusk dawns on the horizon. The horizon itself is littered with coconut trees and buildings, and slowly, they converge into one large dark shape beneath the twilight sky.

And I stop and think about all the sunsets I have seen, both in India and abroad. Everywhere, it is the same sun. But in each place it shines differently, and not in terms of more or less light, but it just is different. And each time, this raw beauty is what gets to me.

It reminds me that there is so much simplicity around us that we don’t notice, only because most of the times, our thoughts belong somewhere else, to what we feel are more important things. Little do we realise that it is this simplicity that is capable of calming us the most.

So take some time out every day, put all those busy thoughts aside, and just look around.

You’ll find there’s much to see.